Bitching with Dusio: Monday.

Bitching with Dusio

The rantings, ravings and musings of a now mid-forties american male. Sex, violence, rock-n-roll. Also, emotions and all that other mushy crap.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Monday.

Thank god it’s going to be a short week.

Another boring weekend was had. Suffice it to say, I worked, I went grocery shopping.

The only change in my routine this weekend was that I went to church. And amazingly enough, it didn’t collapse on my head! I only went because my daughter is being confirmed this spring and I needed to go. Going to church, I’m catholic, by the way, always leaves me conflicted. I certainly don’t follow many of the tenets of the catholic church. I was raised catholic, but as a kid I always resented being forced to go. The minute I turned eighteen and was away from my father, I stopped going. Except for a brief period where I started up again because the girl I was dating went to church every weekend. That was definitely my hypocritical period. I merely went to keep a girl. Stupid. Anyways. I’m sitting in church, listening to the mass, trying to get something out of it. Thinking maybe I’ll come to understand why people get comfort from church. The priest at this church is actually pretty good. He isn’t heavy handed or overly condemning. He does a nice thing where he brings the kids of the church up to the altar and describes to them the gospel reading. He puts it in their terms to let them understand it. I think it’s kind of nice because when I was a kid, all of it just flew right over my head. After he does that, they take the kids in the back and do something with them until after the sermon. There are many parts of the catholic church that I like. What bothers me about it is the emphasis on sin and asking for forgiveness. It seems so disciplinarian to me. I have a hard time believing that a god who is all knowing and all caring is vindictive in that sense. It seems the image of what a god is like for the church is that of what kings were like in the ancient times. They could be good and generous and caring, but you still had to obey their rules or you paid had to beg forgiveness or be punished. I can’t believe that.

The odd thing was, on the way to church I was listening to Weekend Edition on NPR. They were doing a story on the Wiccan and pagan religions. It was a very interesting story. I’ve always felt a draw towards paganism because of the revelry of all things natural. They worship the earth and the sky. They treat the natural world as a deity. That for some reason, makes sense to me. I’m not so much into the ‘magic’ sense of paganism, but even that doesn’t strike me as incredibly unbelievable. They talked in the story of the members of these religions that were actually scientists. They spoke to one man who was a molecular biologist. He felt that this was the only religion that made sense to his understanding of the real world in a scientific manner. That makes sense to me.

Religion in this world, I believe, has been so corrupted by the extremists. Regardless of the religion. Muslims, Christians, Hindus, Jews. They have all taken their respective religions and turned them into something that hurts other people. No one has the right to tell anyone else what they should believe. Who is to say who is right? Until a god comes down and proclaims his dominance over this world, whatever god it might be, no one has the definitive answer. All we can do is respect each others right to believe and believe what we want.

The Dalai Lama, when asked what his religion is, answers, “kindness.” I think that is amazing. He goes on to say that putting aside all rites and ceremony, dogma or belief, his one true belief is in kindness. Isn’t that all we can ask of each other?

I spend a lot of time talking about what I don’t believe. Truth is, there are a lot of things I do believe in. I believe in humanity. I believe that there is inherit goodness in mankind. I believe that a child is the perfected form of humanity. They are untouched by prejudice and hate. I believe in the earth, the sky and nature. I believe that there are forces out there no one yet understands. That some things can’t be explained. I believe there may be a higher power, or powers. I believe that something else is at work besides coincidence and irony. That fate and destiny are often products of our actions towards other. I believe in karma. That if you do good, good comes to you. I believe that evil exists; it is not understood or explainable. I believe in an afterlife. That you travel somewhere else. Where, I don’t know. I believe in the soul. Whether it passes from one human body to another or travels to another plane, I don’t know. I believe that doing for others is the ultimate form of happiness.
And, again as the Dalai Lama says, happiness is our reason for living.

Labels: Monday, religion, the weekend

posted by dusio @ 11/20/2006 10:04:00 AM

3 Comments:

At 10:58 PM, Jasmine's Journey said…

Well unfortunately there are so many religions out there it is easy to get confused. For me what I focus on instead is having a relationship with Jesus Christ. If you are having trouble and struggling, why don't you try talking to God and asking him for direction? That is what I do.
At 6:32 AM, dusio said…

Part of my issue is I don't know that I believe that you can 'talk' to god. I gravitate towards religions that one asks themselves the tough questions, not someone else. My struggle is also that I am basically a non-believer who occasionally gets hit with doubt and leftover guilt. I don't want a relationship with a deity Christianity has become so bastardized by a self serving few that I think any message JC had intended to convey is lost in do this and don't do thats imposed by a self serving few.
Religion is a personal thing for everyone. If it brings you peace to your mind, it is right for you. I have yet to find that peace.
Thanks for stopping by Redhead!
At 4:57 PM, Anonymous said…

I'm with you on the being forced and never going back thing. I haven't been back to church since I moved out of my parents' house, except for Christmas. Unlike you, I've never really bothered to think much about it and just gone down the athiest path.