Bitching with Dusio: I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!

Bitching with Dusio

The rantings, ravings and musings of a now mid-forties american male. Sex, violence, rock-n-roll. Also, emotions and all that other mushy crap.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!

Yes, I live!

I did what I said I wouldn't when I started this blog, I stopped blogging.

In my defense, the past two months have been a whirlwind of stress, illness, heartache, periods of happiness and bouts of depression.

I guess a recap of what has happened since then would be in order.

I'll start with my trip to Myrtle Beach for work. It was an incredibly stressful trip. Everyone always says, "OH, a rough work trip to Bike Week at Myrtle Beach!", but the truth is, I had little to no downtime and didn't see the ocean once. It was 16 hour days for 13 days straight. The nightmare started with the trip down. To say that the key people involved didn't prepare for the trip would be an understatement. Nothing was done ahead of time. We left 4 hours later than planned. Then, we blew a tire before we got 13 miles out of town. We had no spare. We waited six hours to find a special tire for the truck. Turns out no one thought to get the trucks checked out for the trip. We had to rent one truck because one of ours had a bad transmission. The others were desperately in need of tune ups. The tires were all bald and ready to blow. It was a clusterfuck. I got stuck riding in the world's most uncomfortable truck with a guy who wouldn't shut up. He loved to complain and thought he knew everything. He knew so much that when the low fuel light came on, he ignored it and we ran out of gas in the middle of a freeway in West Virginia. I thought we were going to be killed by the semis flying by at 80mph. We sat on that freeway for two hours waiting for one of the other trucks to come back with gas. Even though they were supposed to stay with us, they had gone ahead by about 2 miles. They then decided to eat dinner. So when I got there, they were ready to go and I didn't get to eat. I was not in a good mood.

When we got there, we had to set up, which was about 6 hours in 90 degree heat. Then when we finally got to go back to our rooms, they weren't ready.

Then we got kicked out of the condos because they didn't like a group of 'bikers' in their community.
As for the rest of the trip, I'll just do bullet points.
-the new owner/gm decided he'd just drink the whole trip.
-half the sales team hated the other half
-drinking and weed were all some people wanted to do.
-the talkative complainer went nuts and tried to kick in a door of one of the condos.
-i had to take home a drunk couple who were customers of ours because they wanted to ride their new bike while they were totally blasted. She puked in the rental car. She did show me her boobies though.
-I only saw four pair of boobies. The drunk girl, two random ho's at a bar and one our salesgirls. the least attractive sales girl.
-The new owner/gm decided to fire the sales manager. he put the guy who drank with him the most in as new sales manager.
-I got stuck closing every night because I was the only one who could handle the money.

It was a hell of a trip. For the trip back, four of us rented a car and drove home a day early. Thank god we did. Everyone else who rode with the trucks, they left Monday and got back on Wednesday. Fucking ridiculous.

On top of all the turmoil, I was missing my kids, fighting with the S.O. and life sucked in general.

Since I've been back, the new owner/gm has made my life miserable. I'm going to call him Drunky McMoron, because he is a drunk and a moron. He is in the process of buying the business from it's current owner and is currently the acting GM. He has made me fire two people for no other reason than the fact that he didn't like them. One because she wasn't "eye candy". He has directly told me only to hire attractive young women. I can't wait for the lawsuit. I will be the first to testify. The sad part was both people were good employees and good people. I felt like the biggest asshole letting them go. He has also let go two other quality employees for the dumbest of reasons. He slowly replacing everyone with his cronies and drinking buddies. Of the people that were here when he started here, only myself and 3 other people are left. It's ridiculous. He's nuts. But, I need a job and there is always hope his deal will fall through.

As for my home life, well, it's been less than stable. The S.O. and I have had at least three major fights. One where I had to leave the house. We've pretty much settled on that I need to move out. I am currently looking. I'm not sure how we will afford it, but at this point what else can I do. I'm not sure what our issues are at the root of it all. She says she feels lonely and unloved. I don't know that she's wrong. I'm not the most tender person at this moment. I'm stressed at work, my blood pressure is sky high and I'm just exhausted half the time. I'm pretty miserable myself. And, we never have sex. And, it's my fault. I just don't have the desire right now. This adds to her feeling unloved and feeling unwanted. The truth is, she has never looked better. She's lost a ton of weight and looks great. I'm just thoroughly uninspired when it comes to sex. I'm either too tired or too emotionally drained. I'm not sure what it is. I still look at porn now and then, but I don't even get the urge to take care of myself, if you know what I mean. I've talked to the Dr. about it and he gave me some testosterone packets, but I don't think they've made any difference.

I've had a few bouts of depression since I've last blogged. Not rock-bottom type, but bad enough. I've fought through it with work and playing with the kids, but at night, or when I'm alone, it gets tough. I can't talk to the S.O. about it because she just doesn't want to hear it. She gets wrapped up in everything that is wrong in her life. I suppose that's my fault too.

Well, this is a cheery post.

But, at least I'm back.

I think I'm going to make some updates. Maybe some new colors. Some new weekly posts. Anything just to liven it up. I'm sure there will still be porn stars and tattooed chicks and me being an idiot, don't fret.
Peace.
D

Labels: depression, Myrtle Beach Bike Week., The S.O., Work

posted by dusio @ 7/11/2007 09:32:00 AM

1 Comments:

At 12:09 PM, Jhianna said…

It's about fucking time :)

I was actually thinking about emailing you to see if you were still alive or if you'd run off with one of the Suicide Girls.

Welcome back!