That's pretty much how I feel. When does it end? When does the bad luck stop? Some believe there is no luck, it's just the circumstances of events. Whatever. When does the bad shit stop?

So I have until June to find a place to live. It has to be place where I can have the kids, so I can't just move in with someone. I hate roommates anyways. Then I'll have to figure out how to pay for my residence, part of hers and everything else in the universe. She makes good money, but we have issues now still. Ugh.

I feel like my life is swirling in the toilet bowl. A constant spiral to the bottom where I finally wash into the sewer.

I'm sure many of you have been through this. Hell, I've been through it twice before. It sucks. I don't want to live apart from my kids. The older ones will understand but how do you explain it to a four year old. She's the light of my life and I cannot imagine not seeing her every day. She was gone for three days this week at my grandmother's and my heart ached a bit for her. I know it's ridiculous, but I want to be there every single day. She's my baby. Most likely the last child I'll ever have and I don't want to be a weekend dad.

See the look on Marilyn's face? That's how I feel. I'm just a lot uglier.

Labels: children, depression, Marilyn Monroe, moving out, Saturday