Bitching with Dusio: Zen-Day

Bitching with Dusio

The rantings, ravings and musings of a now mid-forties american male. Sex, violence, rock-n-roll. Also, emotions and all that other mushy crap.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Zen-Day

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.”
Dalai Lama

I think that is something we all need to consider in our lives and practice more often.

So, this whole Michael Richards, n-word, thing. I’ve never been a huge fan of him, his character on Seinfeld, to me, was too over the top. I think in an otherwise hilarious, intelligent show, his character was the low brow, ridiculous humor. Anyways. The one good thing to come out of his losing his mind that night is that people are discussing race and the use of that word. I hazard to say most, if not all, white people have used the word and I’d pretty much guarantee they’ve thought it. I’ll fess up and say I’ve used it and thought it. I’ve never directly called someone that, but I’ve said it. I don’t like the fact that the word even crosses my mind. Not because of the word itself, but the idea behind it. I don’t believe in political correctness. I don’t believe in not saying something because it might offend someone. For everything you might say, someone might be offended. And people are too easily offended for the wrong reasons. I believe using or thinking the n-word is wrong because of what that word represents. It represents the hatred and dominance one race imposed over another. It represents the worst of human nature. I think in our modern culture, with the rise of hip-hop especially, the word has lost some of its vulgarity and evil. It’s thrown around in song and comedy and is used by one black person for another. Perhaps it’s good to take away the evil associated with the world, but I don’t think we can forget where the word came from and what it meant in earlier times. Jessie Jackson was on Stephanie Miller this morning discussing the issue. He has challenged all African-Americans to stop using the word. In song, in comedy, in whatever. It’s his belief that the ‘normalization’ of the word leads to incidents like Richards. I can see his point. I don’t think there is ever a time when a white person can say the word and it not be offensive. And I also believe that the word is offensive when black people use it, too. I’ve laughed at Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy and Dave Chappelle when they have used it in comedy. But does my laughing at it make the word any less offensive just because a black comic used the word? Richard Pryor said late in life that once went to Africa, he decided he’d never use the n-word again. He said black people can be blacks or African-Americans, or Afro-Americans, but to call them the n-word is to refer to what the slave traders called human cargo. Rev. Jackson said that he had talked to many artists and comedians and has gotten mixed messages about his call to end the usage. Some have readily agreed, some have not. I think he’s right on this issue. I think we need to step back and look at ourselves and the race issue. This isn’t the 50’s and 60’s where racism was the back of the bus or separate drinking fountains. This is a whole different time. Racism today is New Orleans being abandoned and cops shooting unarmed people. It’s profiling and stereotyping.

This issue isn’t about one idiot comedian losing his mind and saying something he regrets now. He probably regrets for the wrong reasons. You can’t tell me he hasn’t thought those things before. If he hadn’t, they wouldn’t have rolled out of his mouth so easily. It’s just like the Mel Gibson thing. He needs to wake up and realize he might be an Anti-Semite. Don’t blame it on booze. I’ve been drunk many times and I’ve never went off on Jewish people.

Recently, I got into a tiff with a neighbor. This woman moved in with her daughter almost a year ago and has been a pain in the ass from day one. She consistently has her visitor park in a place that blocks access to my carport. We live in a condo complex. My S.O. tried to discuss it with her but the woman went off on her and told her to mind her own business. So we got the homeowners association involved. There are rules that state you can’t block someone’s driveway or you’ll be towed. We called them each time it happened from then on. About a month ago, around 10pm, I was leaving to go pick up my daughter from a football game. I couldn’t get out; a car was parked right behind mine. I really had to get out to get my daughter so I knocked on her door. The daughter answered and I was nice. I really was. I said I couldn’t get out and the daughter was polite and said, I’m sorry, I’ll get the car moved. Well, some friend of the daughters comes out and starts to move the car. She looks at me and calls me an asshole and tells me to fuck off. I was in my car and already moving, so I just left. Needless to say, I was furious. I’m getting shit because they are rude idiots. When I got back home the car was right back blocking my driveway. I called the homeowners president and told her what was going on and she said she’d call the tow truck and talk to the lady the next day. Before the tow truck arrived, the car was gone. Jump ahead about a week. I’m coming home from work and I pull in my driveway. The neighbor pulls in right after me. She gets out of the car and proceeds to call me a ‘fat motherfucker’ and I’m never to knock on her door again. I’m dumbfounded. I did nothing to this lady. I asked her what her problem is and she proceeds to tell me she just doesn’t like us, meaning my family I guess and that she doesn’t care if my driveway is blocked or not. She was screaming this at the top of her lungs. A neighbor who lives two buildings away heard it. I said fine, from now on I’ll call the police and the tow truck and they can deal with her rude ass. She then proceeds to tell me that my ‘fat-ass family needs to walk, not drive’ and to leave her alone. Here’s where I got really pissed. Don’t drag my family into anything. I was fuming, but biting my tongue. See, she’s black. And that word popped into my head. I didn’t use it, but I thought it. I finally just walked off. I’m glad I didn’t lower myself to her idiot level by saying something that didn’t involve her just being a bitch. Cause she is a bitch. But if I had used that word, I would have dragged her race into and her race has nothing to do with her being a horrible neighbor, a fucking idiot, and of course, a bitch. The word is so tied up in anger that in my anger it rang in my head. I’m not racist, but I found myself thinking it. Some might say that merely by my thinking it, that makes me racist. I don’t necessarily believe that. I would never discriminate against someone because of color. I’m not going to throw around the “I have lots of black friends’. I do have some close friends who are black, but that’s not the reason I’m not racist. I’m not racist because I believe it’s wrong to judge someone for racial, religious, cultural or any other exterior reasons. There are enough stupid, ignorant, evil and moronic people out there of every creed, color, religion and nationality. Stupid is stupid, regardless of your color. I have another neighbor who is trashier than all hell, is rude and inconsiderate and I hate them as much as the other lady. They’re white. I just hate idiots. If I’m an idiot discriminator, so be it.

I don’t have an answer to any of this. I’m just offering up my thoughts and experiences. Should we crucify Michael Richards? Probably not. To me, he is just a weak minded idiot. Maybe he and Mel Gibson can go on a tour of the country, apologizing for their ignorance.
Me? I’m just trying to take the peaceful path. I forgive the lady for the way she acts, after all, what do you expect from an IDIOT!

Labels: idiots, Mel Gibson, Michael Richards, Race, Stephanie Miller, Zen Day

posted by dusio @ 11/29/2006 01:23:00 PM

2 Comments:

At 3:10 PM, Enchantress said…

Hi,Dusio! I've popped onto your site a couple of times, but was really taken with your post today. So, I thought I'd comment. I am an African-American woman and I thought what you said was insightful and right on point. It's unfortunate that people still toss this word around so much and that it has been given so much power. I have personally never said it and will not allow my children to say it.

It's exactly what you said. This word represents an ugly past and personally, I'd like to leave the past in the past. My girls should grow up respecting themselves and others...appreciating everyone for who they are, not for the race they wear or the religion they practice.

So that I don't end up blogging on your blog, I'll end by saying that I hope Gibson and Richards realize the impact they've had in the media with this slander and take the necessary steps to rectify, not just for their images, but in hopes that they don't propogate ideas.
At 4:15 PM, dusio said…

Thank you for stopping by and commenting, Enchantress. Feel free to blog on my blog anytime.

I think if people really talked about these things and were honest with themselves, perhaps some progress could be made. As it is, discrimination and racism just change form and manifest themselves in different ways.