Bitching with Dusio: Hi, my name is Dusio, and I’m a dumbass.

Bitching with Dusio

The rantings, ravings and musings of a now mid-forties american male. Sex, violence, rock-n-roll. Also, emotions and all that other mushy crap.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Hi, my name is Dusio, and I’m a dumbass.

Friday is now officially, Admit you are a Dumb Ass Day here at Bitching with Dusio.

I had noticed that many of you had said that you had been posting comments and they were not showing up. I hadn’t seen them delivered to my mailbox, as I thought they would be, for approval. Turns out, about 1 in 5 actually made it to my mailbox, the other 20 or so were in the comment moderation section of blogspot. So, yes, I am a dumb ass.

I thought that instead of going through every post and responding to each comment, I’d answer them in a blog post, that way if you care, you can read the responses easily.

To all the people who have posted generally that they enjoy the blog and like the set up, I thank you. I take no credit for the colors or HTML part of the blog. My skill in HTML is limited only to being able to get the letters H-T-M-L in the correct order.
As for the blog itself, as I said in my first post, I started this for myself as a way to express myself and be myself. My initial intent was never to worry about anyone reading it. But somewhere along the line, my vanity took over and I dropped the web address here and there. It’s left me in bit of a quandary, actually. It’s like that scientific theory that you cannot study a subject without affecting the subject. I find it harder now to write freely, knowing that people are reading. I am absolutely dedicated to writing what flows freely from my mind. But, I catch myself wondering what reactions others may have. I endeavor to keep this true to my inner self. My world is based so much on being something that is not true to my inner being, that I need this to let that inner being live. So, like it or lump it, this will be me.

About the novel I’ve referred to a few times that I am working on. I think I will post it somewhere online and give the address. First, I have to find the file on my computer that I buried it in. I haven’t worked on it in a few months and I had it in a file deep in my computer so no one would randomly come across it. I should have the first part up this weekend, with any luck.

I appreciate all the Bush-haters, also. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.

To Discom, yes, Blue Moon with a slice of orange is a pint glass of heaven on earth. And Asia Argento is another piece of heaven. Oh my, my, my, my.

About my experience with the girl dying. The guy got life in prison and she got no life at all. I’m not all about the death penalty, I think it is less of a punishment than they deserve. But, having met the girl’s mother, there isn’t anything that could make up for what he did. To her, her mother, her boyfriend, and society as a whole. Even if that girl went on to do nothing more than lead a totally mundane existence, someone loved her, someone misses her. It only makes me more sure that every life means something. This coming from a guy who has attempted suicide more than once. Contradictory?

I mentioned Pandora in a post. Someone told me I could share my ‘radio stations’ with others. I’m not sure I want to do this. Who else would want to listen to Barry White, Allison Kraus, Metallica, James Taylor, Kool & the Gang, Harry Connick, jr., etc. etc. Eclectic isn’t the word. Insane, might be.

As for contacting Rain. I don’t think I could if I wanted to. I haven’t a clue what I did with her email and her real name is pretty common. I don’t think I want to get in touch with her for the simple reason that it might change the way I remember her. I love to think of that time and remember her exactly how she was then. Lying in bed next to me, or holding my hand while walking through the woods, or the feel of her hair in my hands as I brushed it. I loved brushing her hair. (is that odd?) No, I like those memories as they are.

A bunch of people commented on my 100 things. I appreciate that most thought they were original and thoughtful. I tried to delve into myself and put up some confessional type things. It’s true what they say that if you put your regrets and faults out there, it eases your pain some. I’d read that the Native Americans did something like this, they’d transfer some how there regrets to leaves and send the leaves down a stream, washing them away. I think I’d like to try that.

And to all you people from Steubenville, bless all of you, you made it out alive.

I have thoroughly enjoyed all the political and social comments and discussions. It’s discourse such as this that the country needs. I just wish it was being held in our executive and legislative branches of our government.

The final comments I’d like to comment on are the ones involving my S.O. She’s a tricky subject. I think I, perhaps, portray her in a not so positive light in many ways. Part of that stems from the fact that I use this blog to air things I don’t air in the non-internet world. She has many good qualities. I care for her deeply. Where we are in our relationship is a strange place. We do a lot of what we do for the benefit of our children. That’s not to say we don’t provide each other with positive things. We do. And as I’ve said many times before, she is good for me in many aspects. I do feel she saved my life in a lot of ways. I’ll go into that sometime. And, we aren’t remarried, it just seems that way.

So, again, thank you for reading, thank you for the comments and I’ll do my best to keep providing my life as entertainment for you. Someone mentioned that they were with their boyfriend or girlfriend, reading it together, laughing out loud. I love that image. I love that people enjoy anything I say or do or write enough to share it with someone. Rain and I would often read together, occasionally out loud, but usually just quietly. When something struck one of us as humorous or interesting, we’d share it.
That’s cool.

And the picture is Jessica Biel. Do you see the ass on that girl? Oh My God! I would like to lay down a blanket on that shelf and have a picnic!

posted by dusio @ 8/18/2006 11:20:00 AM

1 Comments:

At 12:33 PM, calamity said…

well tnx for all of your answers, i enjoyed this post. so the fridays are for amitting you're a dumb ass now? cool. each friday i'll wait to state my dumb-assness. you wouldn't maind if i used your blog comments to do so would you?
ok i was the one who read this together with a friend of mine nothing close to what you and rain had, but it was still nice i love when people read to me i feel like a little child who's about to listen to a good-night story.

ok so my dumb-assness confession: since i wrote so much already let me just say you can read all about it on my post I Floated Alright.