Bitching with Dusio: Thursday. Who gives a?

Bitching with Dusio

The rantings, ravings and musings of a now mid-forties american male. Sex, violence, rock-n-roll. Also, emotions and all that other mushy crap.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Thursday. Who gives a?

So, it’s Thursday. I’m not sure I have much to say today. It’s been a fairly uneventful day so far. I don’t have much to report. Work is boring. Home is boring. Life is boring.

Is anyone even reading this? Am I boring?

Anyone see the supposedly panty-less pictures of Lindsay Lohan floating around the interweb? They have to be some of the worst fakes I’ve ever seen. It looks like someone cut and pasted a picture of folded bologna in between her legs. Come on, people! Try harder!

Anyone have any stories of chance encounters with celebrities they’d like to share? I don’t have any big, big names. I did have sex with a local newscaster a couple of times. We broke up when she told me her fiancé was moving to town. Newswomen are sluts. OK by me, though.
I suppose my most momentous brush with greatness was with Stephen King. In case you are foreign or live under a rock, he’s an author in the horror genre.
I was in Bangor, Maine visiting a high school friend of mine who was a counselor at a camp up there. Another friend of mine and I drove out one summer for the visit and just to do it. Maine is a beautiful state. Trees galore. The coast is magnificent. Just a great place. Anyways. We get up there and stay at the camp for a few days. The camp is about a half hour north of Bangor, way out in the boonies. He gets a day off and we all head to the big city. Bangor. It has a mall and stuff, movie theaters, restaurants, etc. We decide to go to the movies. I’m driving my jeep. We have the top down, cruising like the giant geeks we were. I was around 19 at the time. So we pull along the sidewalk of the movie theatre and check out movie times. We find the one we want and I start to pull off. Just as I get going, all of the sudden, there is someone in front of me. I slam on the brakes. The jeep literally screeches to a stop. In front of me, a figure stands holding a big bag of popcorn. He’s looking down at something at first then, he quickly looks at us.
His face damn near scares the piss out of me. It’s Stephen King! I wasn’t startled by it being a celebrity, I was scared because he is one ugly fucker and he had this spooked, pissed off look on his face. Have you ever seen Stephen King? Hit every branch on his way down the ugly tree and then it fell on him.

The guy is a genius, don’t get me wrong. I’m not a huge fan of horror, but he is a terrific author. I’d kill to have a tenth of his talent. Just don’t startle him. So, he looks up, scares the hell out of us, then puts his head back down and shuffles off. We all sit in the car, dumbfounded. I think I said something like, “Was that…” And one guy said, “I think so.” The other said, “Yeah, I think it was.”
We knew he lived in Bangor. It’s pretty much the town’s only claim to fame. We park, go inside and get our tickets. We go to get snacks and finally I just ask the girl, “Was Stephen King just in here?” She doesn’t bat an eye and keeps working, “Oh yeah, he comes in almost everyday for some popcorn.” I just thought, I almost ran over Stephen King. Wow.
Then, like, what, 5-10 years ago, he gets hit by a car walking home along a road in Bangor! De ja-fucking-vu! I can see how he got hit; he walks with his head down. Luckily he survived. But that was my brush with greatness.

Y’all are jealous, aren’t you?

posted by dusio @ 9/07/2006 02:31:00 PM

6 Comments:

At 4:55 PM, deedledee said…

Did you bang Kim Kobasco? Hahaha! She was a grade A SLUT! She was banging a lot of the policemen from SPD.

Oh, and today sucks. *sobs*
At 7:16 PM, dusio said…

And more importantly, why is today so sobbingly sucky?
At 3:00 AM, calamity said…

i don't think you could call that de-ya-vu. but the story was cool. if only you would hit the guy you would be on the news man :P
At 12:02 PM, Jhianna said…

I'm still trying to figure you out Dusio, but boring is not a word that even begins to come to mind!

And verrrry nice pic today - she's one of two women that could get me to switch-hit for a night.
At 12:40 PM, dusio said…

Trying to figure me out is probably not a good idea. I'll settle for not being boring!
And if you ever do decide to switch hit, I am an excellent photographer!
At 1:28 PM, Anonymous said…

Some newscaster here in the Dirty South was banging the (married) mayor for a while. They went on all kinds of romantic get-a-ways at taxpayer expense.