Bitching with Dusio: Two for Tuesday.

Bitching with Dusio

The rantings, ravings and musings of a now mid-forties american male. Sex, violence, rock-n-roll. Also, emotions and all that other mushy crap.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Two for Tuesday.

I've decided Tuesdays from now on will be called "Hot Goth Chick Tuesday"

Don't ask me why, just seems like a good enough day. I had an incredibly long day at work. It seemed to go on forever. It was slow, there wasn't much to do, any there weren't any hot chicks in. There are a couple of cutie that work there. One has a body that is boomin'. She has a great rack and has no issues with showing it. Amen for biker chicks. I love 'em.
I'm still waiting to hear about my new job. Hopefully I'll know something soon, I need the cash.
Even if I get this new job and it is a good deal, I don't think it will be my lifetime career. I've always wanted to be a writer. I've been working on a novel for a while now and hopefully one of these days I will reach the point where I can send it off to a publisher. I'm thinking of posting parts of it online to get some reaction or feedback. I could post it on here, but then absolutely no one would read it and I'd be right where I started. I don't have any delusions of granduer that the book would be a best seller, but I would like it to sell some. I'd like to make enough to live on as a writer. I could see myself writing other books, of different genres. My goal is to some day have a house with like 10 acres of land where I could grow herbs and vegetables, maybe raise some chickens. I know, it sounds wierd. I just really like growing things. I have bizarre and sundry interests.
No, I don't need to be rich. I just want a place to call home, a place my kids can come home to when they are older, bring their kids for Christmas. I want to be able to help my kids get through college. I want to be able to buy things when I need them, or like them, within reason. I want a motorcycle. A decent car and a truck. That's really it. My modest American dream.
I grew up in an upper middle class family. My dad made quite a bit of money at one time. We had a big house, nice clothes, nice stuff. My mom bought pretty much whatever she wanted. I guess you could say I was priviledged. After high school, my father paid for me to attend an expensive private college. After the first trimester, I was on academic probation, so I dropped out. It's not that I can't do well in school, I can. I test very well. I just don't apply much effort. Never have. When I try really hard, I can get straight A's. I just rarely try that hard.
I went back to school a little later, but only stayed for a little while, I have a short attention span. I always prefered work to school. More instant gratification. Money, advancement, praise, the whole deal. I enjoyed starting at the bottom in a job and working my way up. Mostly retail. I started one job as a part time manager and ended up four years later as a district manager with two cities and four big stores. So, I'm not dumb, just not always driven.
As I look back, I feel like I always tried to grow up too soon. I wanted to work and get my career going at an early age. I got married and had kids at a ridiculously early age. I always seemed to be in a rush. If I only knew now. That's what most people say, I know, but with me, my life could have turned out so much differently. I would have went to a different school. I went to the one I did because my girlfriend was closer to it and I didn't want to leave her. The irony is I broke up with her after that first semester. I would have gone away a bit farther to a great school that isn't too far away. It's called Antioch and it's a bit of a hippy school, but a really good school and it's in a great town. If I knew then, I would have studied literature or English or journalism and enjoyed the college experience. I would have done a semester abroad in Europe. Ah, if I only new. Sadly, my life is full of regrets I don't think I'll ever come to grips with. As we all know, there are no do overs, just fuck overs if you don't play your cards right.
Great, now I'm depressed. THANKS!

posted by dusio @ 7/18/2006 08:25:00 PM

2 Comments:

At 5:18 PM, Anonymous said…

Hey what a great site keep up the work its excellent.
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At 4:17 AM, calamity said…

please do try and puublish some parts of your novel here
i promise i'll read it and i'll recomend it to some other people it won't be much but it would be a feedback from people who like to write and are good at doing it